Good bye, Kuala Lumpur.

I'll take my leave now. It's been an awesome week, with some awesome moments. Done some pretty darn random stuff, and I've learnt a great deal about KL's public transport system. This is the first time I'm blogging in a loooong time, I know. Never quite had the mood before this, but sitting here, waiting for the bus, I suddenly felt an urge to blog.

The bus terminal is crowded like heck, but I still managed to secure a ticket back to JB at 4pm today. Gonna have to wait an hour, but such is the price of last minute buying. I'm just thankful that I managed to secure tickets relatively early. I'm betting the trip back this time would be nothing like the half-filled coaches I've been taking on the last few trips. Imagine, coming up to KL on the last trip, there were a total of 3 passengers on the bus. Me, Kimberley, and some random dude sitting right in the back. The company must have lost money on that trip.

Another thing to be thankful for is the new bus terminal. It might be crowded at the moment, and some people I know complain that you need to walk a lot *cough*spoilt*cough*, but the place is genuinely decent. Air-conditioned (unlike Pudu in the past), plenty of seats, and OMG public wifi access. (That's how I'm doing this.) You can access the TBS via KTM Kommuter or the KLIA Transit. I recommend the KLIA Transit. Wayyyyyy more comfortable, for only a relatively small increase in ticket price. Oh ya, and there is public wifi on the KLIA Transit train too. Cool huh? Whether you're taking the KLIA Transit or the KTM KOmmuter, your destination is the same. Bandar Tasik Selatan.

There honestly isn't much to complain about at the TBS. The only thing is maintenance. If the management is capable of maintaining the facilities as they are, this place would be perfect for bus travellers. If the luster only lasts for a handful of years after opening, (As happens all too often in Malaysia.) It will be regrettable indeed.

Ok fine, maybe the system of selling tickets could be improved. The part where they require you to tap on the bus you'll like to take could be streamlined a bit. AT the moment, even if you go to a manned counter (As opposed to the automatic ticketing machines which, for some reason, nobody uses.) You'll still need to tap on this screen to make your selection. Apparently, the system doesn't let the guy behind the counter do it for you. I watched confused traveller after confused traveller hesitating when called upon to tap their choice out on the screen. Time could be saved if the system was tweaked to let the counter man select for you. Somebody didn't think the system through properly.

Anyway, there is but 10 minutes left till I have to start waiting at the departure gate. (See? Sonnds like an airport already.) So I'll sign off here. I may be back here soon, as the mood takes me.

signing off,
Chuan Yang

I don't know what to say.

I don't really know what to say today. My much anticipated summer break isn't turning out to be much. I suppose it IS true that the only way to avoid disappointment is not to have any expectations at all. Or to have negative expectations. I suppose that would work as well. Sorry if the rest of this post doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I would hate to buck the trend these days.

You know what. Something happened today that made me sad. Even more so because it is a result of my own failings. I won't tell you what it is, but lemme tell you this. It's ok. It'll be okay. It'll ALWAYS be okay. And you know why? Because there simply isn't another outcome that is acceptable. Everything will HAVETOBEOKAY. That's just the way life rolls. You can't expect life to make an exception for one lowly person. Besides, isn't it a good thing that everything will always have to be okay? Again, another apology for not making much sense. I just had two shots of cognac, and cognac is hardly a mind sharpener.

Your friendship means the world to me. I know I never said this personally to you, so perhaps one day you'll see this and realize that. This emotional attachment is getting out of hand though, and action needs to be taken. No wait, action has already been taken. Just remember that everything will be alright. Maybe in a few months. Or a few years. But yeah, whatever. As long as it will be alright. It's the ends that matter don't they? Not the means. Just know that at the moment, you're the most important person in the world to me. No wait, you shouldn't know that. But whatever, lazy to go back and edit. Life is like that isn't it? Uncaring and cruel. All we can do is to strive to be the best possible people we can be under those kinds of constraints. I will do that. I will strive to be the best possible person I can be under these circumstances. After all, if I never made the effort to be nice, I doubt we would have been such good friends.

Ah, what am I saying. Writing a blog post under the influence of alcohol isn't the best of ideas I've ever had.

Signing off, (For what it's worth.)
chuan yang

Shit. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. Usually I would be able to keep some semblance of sense under the influence of two shots of cognac. I guess things today and skipping lunch isn't aiding me in maintaining a clear headed state. Bleargh.

Exams

It is currently the exam period in my university. I wouldn't normally be doing this, but well, I felt like writing a blog post today.

Google the song 'Exit Wounds' by The Script. This band is probably best known for their song, 'Breakeven'. Their second album, 'Science and Faith' is really worth listening to. Tip: Listen to the songs in the order of arrangement in the album. They tell of someone's break up story. As you might imagine, 'Exit Wounds' is the last song on the list.

My first year of university is slowly coming to a close. Many epic things happened. I met someone who holds the ability to flip my world upside down in an instant. I had to learn to let go. I had to learn that sometimes, the story left untold is better left untold. I went clubbing in new places. I discovered the horror called assignments. I applied for, and succeeded in getting a slot on the exchange program my university has between the campus in Malaysia and the mother campus in the UK. This means that the next academic year, I'll be studying in the UK.

Sounds good? Perhaps not so. I'll only be there for a year. One short year.

This (academic) year was full of experiences that I'll treasure for life. Memories were made. Some sweet, some bitter. (Actually, mostly bitter, to be brutally honest.) Lessons were learnt that must never be forgotten.

And I must return to my study of materials engineering.

The next paper.

Signing off,
Chuan Yang

Hello blogger. Missed me?

Blogger, I have come to make a confession. I've gotten myself a Tumblr account.

"Apostasy and heresy!" I hear you scream. Worry not, Blogger, for Tumblr will become my micro-blogging account. I'll still post important and serious things here. I promise.

Tumblr is an emo place, full of reblogs involving quotes galore, pictures with the 'Tumblr' feel, some good advice, some bad advice, and lots of sayings that hit true everytime I read them.

Blogger can be a place for intellectual discourse, intelligent discussions, mature people talking to each other about grave and deep matters. It can also be a place for trolls, people who gain pleasure from the terribly irritating act of inflaming people to produce reactions.

To be honest, I have no idea what I just wrote. Each word in this post was/is being written off the cuff, with no theme in mind, no overall guiding hand to produce a satisfactory conclusion.

Unicorns. Gundam Unicorn is in its second episode. At the current rate things are going, the entire series will be completed in around 2 years time. I have currently no idea as to the number of episodes planned, but I do know the release schedule is roughly twice a year. So enjoy your waiting guys! In the meantime, here's some models and assembly kits to tide you over while waiting for the next episode. Yes, I know they cost a lot, but I'm sure you guys will buy em anyway.

Fluid mechanics! Boundary layers! Mass continuity! Euler Equations! Bernoulli's Theorem! Pipe flow! Reynold's numbers!

Which brings me neatly to my next statement.

signing off,
chuan yang

So which will it be?

When a guy and girl become close friends, people say it's usually a matter of time before one of them falls for the other. Sometimes, the timing is not right, and the friendship is ruined. Sometimes, the timing works out, but the relationship doesn't, and the friendship is ruined anyway. Sometimes, the timing is not right, but the friendship survives, and actually grows stronger as a result. And sometimes, the relationship works out, and they live happily ever after.

Now, I am not saying that this is true of all cases. It probably isn't. Overgeneralization is a nasty mistake to make.

But for a case I know, this little nugget of wisdom rang true.

They started out as friends. Then they started texting each other on a regular basis. They grew closer. Secrets were exchanged, and in the process, an implicit bond of trust was formed. Time passed. Troubles came and went. They helped each other weather some storms, sharing advice and experiences. As they grew to know more and more about each other, their bond deepened. At that moment, their paths were intertwined like the threads in a cloth.

Then, things changed rapidly. He fell for her. Storms, the most dangerous yet, began to brew. A few tumultuous weeks pass. He ultimately fails. Although outwardly fine, he is badly broken up inside. He agrees to continue being friends, but he is struggling. Oversensitive, and with his thoughts and emotions spiralling out of control, he is forced to make a move that no one should ever have to make.

His feelings for her are affecting the friendship. It is getting difficult to talk to her. He begins to lose his nerve around her. Jabbering nervously to her friends, but not to her. He's afraid of talking to her. He begins to think too much, blowing little things out of proportion. He begins to suspect that she is avoiding him, even though she says she isn't avoiding him.

Hoping that distance will ease the situation, he puts a plan into action. He will take a break, and stop communication with her for a period of time. He avoids having lunch with her, and stops looking around for her in his free time. He buries himself in work. There are assignments and projects to be done. He works till late at night, falling into bed exhausted, with no time to think. He misses texting her and chatting with her, but does not give himself time to dwell on it. Healing is a long and painstaking process.

After some time, some progress is made. He no longer gets twinges everytime he sees her face. The feelings are very much still there, but the intensity is slowly decreasing. It'll take time, but by the end, he hopes that they will be able to go back to what it was before. The rain clouds may still hang overhead, but I think think you find that the most breathtaking sunrises usually occur after a great storm in the night. There is hope for the future.

So which will it be?

signing off,
Chuan Yang

Title-less quote.

You know how people say time heals all wounds? Well, this is misleading. Time certainly does not heal all wounds. Especially wounds of a certain kind.

With wounds of that certain kind, time can take the edge off the pain. It allows you to relive the time of crisis with greater clarity, greater control over your emotions. But it'll never completely erase how you felt about it. Trust me on this. It never will.

signing off,
Chuan Yang

Memory.

Notwithstanding the previous post, it has seriously been some time since I last clocked in time with my blog. Nothing has changed, the links mainly still work (there are a few broken links which I'll need to replace or update), the CBox spammers are still going at it, the blog title picture is thoughtful as ever, and so on and so forth.

I looked back through some of my posts over the years, and I couldn't help but to feel nostalgic. A longing for the past to return, but we all know that will never happen. I once told someone that I never really miss my close friends, because I know for certain that I'll be seeing them again. I know for certain that sometime in the foreseeable future, we'll get a chance to meet, hang out, and talk as if there wasn't a tomorrow. Even if they've flown off overseas. We WILL meet again. I won't badly miss my friends, true, but I sorely miss the times that we had together. 10 years down the road, I will look back on all this and say "Oh man, those were the days." Cliché.

You do realize that once the time is gone, it's gone forever? Every single time you see someone, you'll never see that someone under the exact same circumstances, situation and setting again. That's the chaos of life at work. Events can never be replicated perfectly. Once experienced, an event will only live on through your memory, never to be experienced again.

I do not deny that there would be more memories, more epic events to be remembered and cherished. As we grow older, we do stupid things less and less. But when we DO do something stupid, it gets more and more epic. Most of my best memories came from bad ideas.

As I read back through my blog, I feel old. I know this is ridiculous, seeing as I've only been through barely 25% of the upper end of the average human lifespan. In almost 20 years, the things I've seen, the feelings I've felt, and experiences I've had are legion. None of it would be interesting to a stranger, but to me, they are who I am. My identity is composed of experiences, thoughts and feelings after all. In a way, this also gives me hope for the future. If in 20 years I could have amassed such a multitude of memories, imagine what it'll be like 10, 20, or 30 years in the future. I'll be more than twice as old by then, with perhaps more than twice the amount of memories. I'll be looking forward to it.

Signing off,
chuan yang